Something

Why is it that struggle induces sleep ... passivity, longing to sit still and think about nothing or sit and listen to music. I think it is the weight of thoughts that weigh us down at time ... But honestly that is seldom true, thoughts alone are nothing ... no real weight and no real lift. It is life and reality and people that weigh us down or lift us up.

Mind splits as I ponder my place,
heart and water spill around and slosh out,
wandering feet would like to walk in a forest,
Something peaceful and pretty
even if it is cold.

But instead I am here and I must find my place right here.
This is always the solution,
Escape is rarely a solution ... only when you are on your way to murder
or theive or pillage,
should you flee with quick feet.

All other times you must plod directly into life,
whatever life will meet you.
You must believe that even if the times are dark and cool,
Even it is is many nights that pass before there is a spouting,
You must believe.
God will grow you if you believe.

Plant yourself, one foot after another and God will give increase.

This isn't all, it never is, but it is a big part.
It is a hard lesson to learn in our time of constant illusion
and corporate day dreams,
When imagination can actually be your problem.

God take our imaginations,
right now they are worth less than dung.

May we have dreams of your kingdom and seek it with sweat and tears.

May the gospels grant substance to our tireless imagination,
Tempered with the prophets and the epistles and the Old stories.

Old Notes (same Jason)

I am reorganizing my personal library (hopefully to make it easier to reference and find things) and just came across a note in my copy of "The Prophets", by Heschel. Its on Lee University paper, so it must have been while living in Cleveland just after I graduated. It has two things written on it with numbers out beside them:

1. "Ideas are dangerous, but are often treated lightly and glibbly ... especially in academic circles. There is hardly such a thing as a "merely academic" discussion. "The killing fields of Cambodia come from philosophical discussions in Paris." (Paul Johnson)"

Yep, I still agree. I think that quote is from when I attempted to read Johnson's "Modern Times" a giant history of our centure (1500 pages or so) ... maybe I should pick that one back up. It sounds good.

2. "You no longer have to be brilliant, intelligent and elite to come to the conclusion that life is meaningless ... that message is spoon-fed to millions."

Yep, that's still true as well ... except people seem to care even less that this is happening. Well I add to that as a further wake up call from Abraham Heschel "Are we alone in the wilderness of self, alone in this silent universe, of which we are part, and in whihc we feel at the same time like strangers? It is [precisely] such a situation that makes us ready to search for a voice of God in the world of man: the taste of utter loneliness; the discovery that unless God has a voice, the life of the spirit is a freak"

God help us.